It is so easy not to do the things that make us feel uncomfortable. To make excuses and stay home and avoid venturing out into the world, and putting yourself out there. I struggle with this so much, finding it so tempting to convince myself not to do things, but somehow I usually manage to take the leap.
I should be clear though that it’s not as if, once I am doing the workshop, or the residency, or the trip, or whatever it might be that everything falls magically into place. I find myself feeling incredibly shy, inadequate, and lonely. Every day is difficult because every day I am growing and pushing myself which is really hard.
This residency gave me the opportunity to reconnect with Italy in a way I have been longing to do for some time. To be here for two weeks, speaking the language, meeting new people and working on my art has been an incredible gift. I have felt excited, elated, but also at times lonely and have missed my family terribly, but…
I am so glad I came.
My work has grown and so have I. I wanted to write this now, so that the next time I am doubting myself and going on one of these trips, or I’m at the midway point and wishing desperately to be home, I am reminded that this will be the feeling and the reward at the end. The satisfaction of working through something difficult and making it our the other side with a joyful heart, ready to leap again.